And it's true, Middle-schoolers, 8th graders to be exact, are a strange species. It takes a certain individual to not only educate these foreign beings but to actually like them. People cringe when they think of that age-group for various reasons, hormones being one of them, but I am also a strange being and so for some reason I "get" them.
So, being an expert on all things "8th grader," let me dispel or confirm a couple stereotypes about Middle-Schoolers that exist out there to generate the above reaction.
1. They smell. Bad. Often of baked hormones mixed with B.O.
This is true. Fact.
Middle Schoolers are dealing with a lot of "changes." Yes, we are speaking of the puberty kind. And many middle-schoolers become so used to their special "scent" that they are unaware of it. This is where deodorant comes in. Or not. Some kids have been wearing obnoxiously pungent deodorant since 4th or 5th grade because they want to smell nice for "the ladies." Yes, I am speaking of the males of this phylum. But some of them seem to conveniently forget about antiperspirant after gym class. This is bad. VERY bad.
I have had many an afternoon class that contains said-males after gym class. For the love of all things holy and sacred it's bad. Bad enough that I have kept male deodorant in my drawers to secretly "hand off" to these poor souls. Wait...I'M the poor soul that has to smell this unique hormones-mixed-with-puberty-sweat, but I guess that's part of the job.
Nonetheless, it is important for every Middle School teacher to keep lysol spray close by for situations like these. Especially those where you have 14 year olds who either resemble a 10 year old because they haven't hit "the change" yet and don't even bathe unless their Mom tells them to, or you have 14 year olds who look like Lebron James just walked into your classroom and have looked this way since they were 7. You have to be prepared for everything.
2. They are "too cool" to listen to a teacher.
False. Myth.
Middle-Schoolers, even the ones that look like Lebron James, are actually insecure weirdos that are easily outwitted. And even when they throw curse words at you like they are Omar on the Wire or an aspiring cast member of "The Bad Girls Club," they also have no idea who they are yet and mostly just want people to like them.
In this case you have two options- either kill them with kindness or treat them like the babies they actually are inside that big bad Jordans-wearing body.
You see, most Middle Schoolers who act "too cool" are weirded out by nice adults. When I smile and laugh at them when they tell me "no," I usually get this face:
It is the best adolescent-disarmament known to man. Throws em off real good. Then they will shut up and maybe even...learn.
But sometimes you have to pull out the big guns and meet them at their level. These "I'm too cool to deal with you" kids need a little alpha-female in their life. And so that's when I give it to them.
Usually they are pretty surprised that little Mrs. Cunha has this side to her. But let's be honest, you've all seen me pissed off.
3. They don't like to show affection.
FALSE.
This is where I tell you about the middle-school "side hug." The most annoying, awkward, yet endearing ritual that this tribe practices.
It begins with the movement that they want to hug you. As an adult, first you are repulsed. You then go through a quick survey in your mind: does this student shower? What is the intent of this "hug?" Do I get paid enough for this?
Then you allow it...because let's be honest, it's hard to stop a moving train and when middle-schoolers want a hug, they WANT A HUG.
And so you open your arms to receive said hug. But you are confused. The middle-schooler is turning his or her body slightly and only offering one arm. They then take said arm and put it over one of yours and awkwardly squeeze. This is the side hug. It's weird.
They all do it. To each other, to teachers, to strangers, etc. One perk is that you don't have to get too close and risk exposing yourself to odors or even ebola. But the downside is you look like an idiot and then start feeling ashamed that you have adopted and acquiesced to this strange adolescent custom.
It feels like a violation. A side-hug rape, if you will. You want to take a shower immediately and go so something really adult-like like balance your checkbook to assure yourself that you are still an adult and not "one of them."
4. They're weird and not likable.
False.
Believe it or not, even in the "bad" middle schools, there are some really great kids. Kids who listen, show appreciation and respect and are actually insightful human beings. They can be funny, entertaining and witty.
When you come across one of the species who demonstrates these qualities it feels like this:
And those kids make it worth it. The rest can be handled with a little TLC. And by TLC I mean lysol and a little alpha-female.
LOLing at the 'side hug' and also remembering how terrible the Jr High/Middle school years are. You're gawky, awkward, raging with hormones and everything is just awful. I give you major credit for teaching this group; they're lucky to have ya :)
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