Ugly Cry-Face

Throughout this process I have been bowled over numerous times by tears. In times of particular intensity I tend to put on my "ugly cry-face." My family and friends are probably familiar with this face. It's not pretty.

Needless to say, today ugly cry-face came out in the car. The Fray came on the radio and as a person who listens to lyrics of music, I tuned in. And then it started. The ugly crying. I actually had to pull over. It climaxed with the mention of "her."

The Fray's "You Found Me" is about what I am guessing someone's search for God in a time of crisis. A situation I am certainly familiar with in my current predicament. Each day as I search for sense in this horrible event in my life, I continually ask for the support of God...and I tend to find myself asking where He was when my world stopped spinning three weeks ago.

They say God makes everything happen for a reason...and that's all well and good and I am sure it's true. But many times I wondered where He was when I needed him during those unimaginable moments. And where He has been since. "Carrying me" as the old proverb suggests? Watching as I weather this storm?

There are moments of clarity and confidence where I think I have found Him, but it is hard to be sure. Needless to say, this song touched me in a very vulnerable place and sometimes song lyrics can describe my feelings better than I can.

Here they are...

[Verse 1]I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".

[Verse 2]
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

[Chorus 1]
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

[Verse 3]
In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

[Chorus 2]
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

[Bridge]
Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all I want

[Chorus 3 and outro]
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me